Ironically it is an undisputed fact that all marriages have problems, known as marital discrepancies, some get sorted out by the couples themselves. Others fail to resolve their problems and eventually it end up in divorce. We do not know how many marriages were saved as we only have the statistics of those that finally ended up in divorce. The statistics give us a very bleak picture; therefore it is essential that marital problems be resolved before the damage becomes a final breakup.
The big question is, can your marriage be saved? That question can only be answered by you! If your marriage is in trouble and you do nothing than the outcome can be guaranteed. But if you do something then there is a much better chance that your marriage will be saved, even if you are the only one that wants it to happen.
There are four simple steps that you can follow to save your marriage. You can start right now. You must understand these are “simple” steps. That is not the same as “easy.” These steps are not easy. If you want to change the destiny of your marriage in trouble, then these simple steps will give you a path that you must follow.
1. Stop the Blame Game.
Stop blaming yourself and stop blaming your spouse. If everybody keeps on blaming the other, the marriage gets frozen into a pattern of blaming that immobilizes any prospect of progress.
Blaming is an easy way of avoiding seeing ourselves clearly, it is so easy to point the finger somewhere and say “it’s their fault.” Now is the time to turn that pointing finger around and point it at you and place the blame there, saying “I caused it, it’s my entire fault.”
No matter how many times the one blame the other in a troubled marriage, no amount of blaming will save the marriage. Blame is the fuel for divorce.
2. Take Responsibility
If you want to save your troubled marriage, you must take responsibility and decide you can do something. Change can start with one person who wants to see a change. Taking responsibility is not the same as taking the blame. Instead of blaming, responsibility is saying, “regardless of who is at fault, there are some things that can be done differently and I am going to do that.”
You can start by looking at, what buttons you allow your spouse to push? Decide not to allow those buttons to be pushed any more. Then you must stop pushing the buttons you are pushing on your spouse.
Ask any counselor and they will tell you that everybody knows what they should be doing or not doing, but find it difficult to move in the right direction. Don’t be caught in that. Decide that you can start and take action.
What is the difference between blame and responsibility? Let’s assume I am in my burning building. I can stand around trying to figure out who started the blaze, why it has spread so fast, and whose head is going to roll if all this is over (responsibility or blame?), or I can save as much as possible and get myself and everybody else safely out of there (responsibility or blame?).
When a marriage is in trouble it can be compared to a building on fire. How will you take action to save the marriage?
3. Use Expert Resources.
Get help and use the resources of experts, if others have been helped, so can you too be helped. There are many experts with a great deal more experience and perspective, they can be a real help in these situations. There are some that’s good but others are better, do your researches before you choose.
Just remember that your situation is not much different from every other situation. Basically all situations are similar to the previous ones, the story might change but the dynamics stay the same.
Remember what Albert Einstein said, "The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them." In other words, what got you into trouble will not get you out of trouble. That requires a whole new level of thinking. And that is what you get from an outside expert, someone with a fresh perspective.
4. Taking Action.
More damage gets done by doing nothing then when trying and not succeeding at first. At least a lesson could have been learnt.
Afraid of taking action we can easily get paralyzed by the situation.
Therapists often talk about "analysis paralysis." People can get caught up in their churning thoughts and attempts to "figure things out" that they fail to see the opportunity to take action.
To understand what the problem is will not resolve the problem, it need action on a daily basis to work on the problems and resolve them with determination and perseverance.
Will your marriage be saved?
If you follow these simple steps, you have infinitely more opportunity for saving your marriage than if you do nothing.
In marriage it take two to make it work, but only one to really mess it up, make sure you are not that one.
Resolve and saving a troubled marriage is not standing and asking questions but to take action and make things work for the better.
Are you ready to take action? Grab the best-selling resource on the internet for saving marriages: Save the Marriage, Even If Only You Want It!
Click here to order your copy of Save The Marriage now.
The big question is, can your marriage be saved? That question can only be answered by you! If your marriage is in trouble and you do nothing than the outcome can be guaranteed. But if you do something then there is a much better chance that your marriage will be saved, even if you are the only one that wants it to happen.
There are four simple steps that you can follow to save your marriage. You can start right now. You must understand these are “simple” steps. That is not the same as “easy.” These steps are not easy. If you want to change the destiny of your marriage in trouble, then these simple steps will give you a path that you must follow.
1. Stop the Blame Game.
Stop blaming yourself and stop blaming your spouse. If everybody keeps on blaming the other, the marriage gets frozen into a pattern of blaming that immobilizes any prospect of progress.
Blaming is an easy way of avoiding seeing ourselves clearly, it is so easy to point the finger somewhere and say “it’s their fault.” Now is the time to turn that pointing finger around and point it at you and place the blame there, saying “I caused it, it’s my entire fault.”
No matter how many times the one blame the other in a troubled marriage, no amount of blaming will save the marriage. Blame is the fuel for divorce.
2. Take Responsibility
If you want to save your troubled marriage, you must take responsibility and decide you can do something. Change can start with one person who wants to see a change. Taking responsibility is not the same as taking the blame. Instead of blaming, responsibility is saying, “regardless of who is at fault, there are some things that can be done differently and I am going to do that.”
You can start by looking at, what buttons you allow your spouse to push? Decide not to allow those buttons to be pushed any more. Then you must stop pushing the buttons you are pushing on your spouse.
Ask any counselor and they will tell you that everybody knows what they should be doing or not doing, but find it difficult to move in the right direction. Don’t be caught in that. Decide that you can start and take action.
What is the difference between blame and responsibility? Let’s assume I am in my burning building. I can stand around trying to figure out who started the blaze, why it has spread so fast, and whose head is going to roll if all this is over (responsibility or blame?), or I can save as much as possible and get myself and everybody else safely out of there (responsibility or blame?).
When a marriage is in trouble it can be compared to a building on fire. How will you take action to save the marriage?
3. Use Expert Resources.
Get help and use the resources of experts, if others have been helped, so can you too be helped. There are many experts with a great deal more experience and perspective, they can be a real help in these situations. There are some that’s good but others are better, do your researches before you choose.
Just remember that your situation is not much different from every other situation. Basically all situations are similar to the previous ones, the story might change but the dynamics stay the same.
Remember what Albert Einstein said, "The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them." In other words, what got you into trouble will not get you out of trouble. That requires a whole new level of thinking. And that is what you get from an outside expert, someone with a fresh perspective.
4. Taking Action.
More damage gets done by doing nothing then when trying and not succeeding at first. At least a lesson could have been learnt.
Afraid of taking action we can easily get paralyzed by the situation.
Therapists often talk about "analysis paralysis." People can get caught up in their churning thoughts and attempts to "figure things out" that they fail to see the opportunity to take action.
To understand what the problem is will not resolve the problem, it need action on a daily basis to work on the problems and resolve them with determination and perseverance.
Will your marriage be saved?
If you follow these simple steps, you have infinitely more opportunity for saving your marriage than if you do nothing.
In marriage it take two to make it work, but only one to really mess it up, make sure you are not that one.
Resolve and saving a troubled marriage is not standing and asking questions but to take action and make things work for the better.
Are you ready to take action? Grab the best-selling resource on the internet for saving marriages: Save the Marriage, Even If Only You Want It!
Click here to order your copy of Save The Marriage now.